Ineptitude

I resent my part time job. I know I shouldn't, I'm lucky to even have it. However, it sometimes gets the best of me. Namely because it is mentally exhausting to interact with hundreds of people hours at a time, especially when you have to force a smile and a happy mood. To be fair I think there is a certain advantage to working such a job at some point in your life, it can really do wonders for your perspective.

On the other hand, it can be entirely dehumanizing. When you're standing behind the counter, not everybody seems to remember that you are a human being. I will open with a friendly greeting and often the customer will interrupt by just barking menu items at me. I tend to take pride in my work, and I take things personally, and these two traits are awful vices to have when you've got a job in fast food.

From time to time my thoughts give way to the "cog in the machine" mindset, and I feel rather worthless. Here I am, selling my my life (for time is a very precious commodity) for $7.40 an hour. I find it remarkably degrading. I think I'd rather be a stripper. I just feel like I'm better than this, like my time is worth more.

Yet I can't get a better job for the life of me. Am I that inept? A kid who has been working at our store almost exactly as long as I have just got promoted to shift manager. Why not me? I can't even get the managers to train me on anything but the register. What am I doing wrong? It's not like I lack work ethic. Am I that unskilled? I've long thought of myself as being "above average," but evidence points to the fact that I may be lacking. Am I completely inept and I just don't realize it?