Thursday, December 15, 2011

Probably Not Politically Correct

In modern America, gender and sex are two different things. Sex is determined by biology: body parts or perhaps chromosomes in unusual circumstances. Gender, however, is social construct, and (apparently) left entirely up to the individual. I think, though, that this system is socially counter-productive in a way, because even if you choose your gender, you're still saying I'm this gender because I have/desire qualities that are typical of this gender, thus perpetuating related stereotypes. Ideally we would all be genderless and our sexualities would all be less defined, but that will likely never happen.

I've been pondering my place in our society as a woman. I suppose everything you read from this point on is a long-winded diatribe derived from a matter of semantics.

What's it mean to be a woman?

Yeah, I have ladybits. That thing that babies come out of. Those things that babies suck on.
(The whole sexualization of breasts is a weird thing, to me. Think about it. Men have nipples too. What's the difference, really? Why are ours obscene? Because they're fattier? Fat men get boobs too, but they aren't forced to hide them. That's hardly fair. Titties aren't any more special than other parts of the body, like the neck, or navel. They aren't sexually explicit, they just aren't.)

But there's more to it than that

Every society has it's own gender roles. I don't need to spell them out, you ought to be well aware. Girls like shopping, boys like video games, blah blah etc. Traditional roles are being defied more often, but we just come up with new ones in their place.

I've always hated being female. The sexes are equally capable, but there's no denying they are naturally suited for different things. Social intelligence vs. mathematical intelligence. Balance vs. strength. Hormonally speaking, if I had more testosterone, I'd be naturally more motivated and goal-oriented. One of the reasons I stopped taking a medication of mine was for the concern that the excess estrogen was diminishing these traits. Are these traits I should value, though? Have I been completely misguided? I am always taking on more challenging tasks in an effort to prove people wrong. Should I just embrace my strengths? There is nothing I value more than the pursuit of knowledge, but does that mean I have to pursue it? Why not accept my place in nature as a female? I could contribute instead by nurturing men, be they partners or offspring, who are more suited to this pursuit than I.

Alas, in the manner I was raised, I don't think I'd be content with that. And in the society we live in, I don't think men would allow us to be content with that, even if they say otherwise. Because no matter your skill or intelligence, you will still be ridiculed for your decision to follow the homemaker route. You have to prove yourself. Nurturing a great thinker is not as good as being a great thinker. We just don't place as much value on the natural strengths of women.

And as I soon learned upon finishing puberty, being a woman sucks when you want to make friends. Men (the vast majority of the time) don't want to be your friend unless they think intimacy might eventually be involved. Theoretically that's fine if you are okay with having sex with all your friends. I imagine that would be exhausting, though. And women? Well, honestly, I just haven't tried very hard at making friends with women. I guess I don't have the right to complain until I do. I am at a disadvantage here because I am a sexist fuck and I think women are manipulative, vapid and boring.

My given set of circumstances has put me in a position of self-hatred. I don't like being a woman. I don't want to be a woman. It doesn't align with my set of values and life plans. What the hell do I do about it, though?

I realize personal testimony doesn't mean shit, but I offer this: On the few occasions I have dressed in drag to appear as a convincing male, I found that people took me more seriously, even if they knew me well and were aware that I was a female.

As far as I'm concerned, you're sexist even if you aren't sexist. I am too. It's okay.

No comments:

Post a Comment